March was so exhausting, I forgot about February

It’s already April. I’ve forgotten to update here as usual. But because I’m peacefully stuck at home for Holy Week, girl has some time. I cleared out some space on my messy dump desk, where I do my nails. I threw out some stuff I was holding onto but realistically will never ever use. This makeshift desk has 3 “levels,” so I transferred all my nail stuff on the second level so I can use the top part as an actual desk. This is an attempt at a non-work desk where I can journal, draw, and update this lil old thing.

If I’m being real with myself, only the last 2 weeks of March killed me. But as I’m typing right now, did it really? When I’m in the moment, it doesn’t feel as dramatic. It’s just that I’m exhausted. But when I emerge out of it, everything is alright again. I know this is probably not the right way to go about it, haha, but it is how I am choosing to deal with it.

Last February, I made it back to one of my favorite cities for a quick holiday. My friend Patty and Chinggay were going to Sydney to watch one of the podcasts they follow live. They asked me if I wanted to watch with them (I didn’t but I did want to go to Sydney again). It turns out my Australian visa was still valid, so of course I said yes. It was a chance to visit one of my kabarkadas Pam who moved there a few years ago and is now working as a chef. I’ve visited her thrice now and this was one of the best trips because we got to spend a lot of time together. She took me on a boat to listen to songs we grew up with—and we actually came out Top 3 out of 24 groups at R&B trivia, lol. I still have 2 trips to go with Patty & Chinggay this year and while the world is currently burning, these are the pockets of joy I am looking forward to.

Speaking of which, I have gone through another round of visa application for a trip next month. Had a lot of booboos that required some monetary backup but I just got the notice that my passport is ready for pickup the other day. While it’s likely approved, I wonder for how long. This is my third try so I’m hoping I get something a little more long-term, so at least all that effort is worth it. This particular trip was a little surprise when Chinggay snagged us tickets to Harry Styles’ show. I keep telling myself, this is why we work. I’ll earn the money back when I come home. So the next time I ask you if I should buy something, please remind me to save up for my trip. Haha!

In Sydney, we splurged on some fancy cinema tickets to see Wuthering Heights in a library (!!) themed theater. The walls were lined with books, and there was a gorgeous installation spilling out of the ceiling. We were maybe 6 or 8 women in that theater and the pair beside us ordered themselves a bottle of wine. It was entertaining! I enjoyed it as somebody who never read the book (I am currently reading it but I have lost interest and am still only 10% done, ugh). Speaking of books, let me tell you about that strange one I didn’t finish in January.

China Miéville’s The City and the City was one of the readings from last year’s writing workshop. I thought it was interesting the way he wrote of this place where two cities coexisted but couldn’t really acknowledge the existence of the other. There was no explicit explanation of such existence but he wrote it in a way that you just figured it out as the story picked up. It wasn’t a favorite read but I thought it was brilliantly written. But if we’re talking favorite reads, I picked up Lily King’s Writers & Lovers after falling in love with Heart the Lover earlier this year. I think I need to read more of her work! Let me know if you have any recs. Highlighted this line “My mother will be worrying about me, and I can’t tell her that I’m okay.” Because wow, isn’t that the truth? And now I think about my father the same way, too.

I also saw Hamnet with my best friend, which had us sobbing in the dark for a couple of hours. Before this, we had watched Sentimental Value together. We made a pact that the next movie we see should be something like The Devil Wears Prada 2 or something that will not have us crying again. But I don’t know about you, sometimes there’s just something so freeing about letting all the tears out. I love a good cry.

I unfortunately have dropped off my daily morning writing habit. But I did pick up my daily movement again (well, for 2 days until I stopped again yesterday). Maybe next week, I’ll restart both. But for now, I’m just happy to have woken up to make myself breakfast (pancakes!) and to have written here. All I did yesterday was binge XO, Kitty and all I have planned for the rest of the weekend is to get my sleep score back to high after a horrid month of lows and very lows (the horror). Here’s hoping I make it back here at the end of the month after a nap or something.