The best kind

Everyone thinks I’m the nicest, sweetest person in the world. But seriously? I don’t think I am. If anything, I’m just like anybody else—I have hissy fits, I can be rude, and I think about evil things happening to people I don’t like or I’m not very fond of. I guess I’m just better than most people when it comes to self-control—most of the time, anyway.

It’s the last month of the year. It’s supposed to be my year. And for the past how many months, it really was. Up until my birthday. I guess it still is my year, just not as perfect as I thought it would be. But who wants perfect? Perfect is boring. At least my life is getting some sort of action, and a little drama. 😛

Let’s review the year that was. At the beginning of 2006, I was so frustrated with my job and I felt like I was just staying so I could say that I stayed for at least a year. When I think about it, six months into that job, I knew it was going nowhere. I endured getting blamed for mistakes that I didn’t even commit, and doing other people’s jobs. I hated it and I was so glad that I made the decision to leave. Sure, I learned a lot of things, but I couldn’t see myself years down the line photocopying scripts and drafting contracts. I can’t even believe I lasted that long there.

So when I finally left, I found a job that I love and was lucky enough to be part of the best team in the world! I love the people I work with—enough to call them friends. Even if there’s a lot to be done at work, I don’t mind, because I enjoy doing it. I find that there’s still so much I can learn and that I have the potential to be better.

Then there’s that risk that I took earlier this year. I don’t regret making the choices I’ve made—how ever stupid they might seem to me now. I don’t want to go through life asking myself “What if?” At least I tried and it’s better than not knowing at all. I just wish it wasn’t this hard. You know? You give so much of yourself only to be left in the end. It’s sad and sometimes, you can’t help but think, “What did I do wrong this time?” But life goes on, and I’m not about to sit around sulking and pitying myself. I’m so much better than that.

My biggest achievement to date is the fact that I’m actually able to help out my mom with finances. It’s not a big amount, but I give her something regularly and I love the way their (my mom’s and my dad’s) faces light up during that time of the month. Maybe that’s how I looked like when they used to give me my allowance for school. It’s just such an accomplishment in itself and I can’t help but be so proud. Hopefully, in the next year, I’ll earn more and I’ll be able to give them more.

I wanted to travel this year, but maybe that’s got to wait until next year. My entire family got granted US Visas last month and hopefully, I’ll be able to use it in the near future. I can’t wait to visit all my friends who’ve flown out of the country and my relatives who I haven’t seen in a while.

You know what? My life’s been really good. And if I’ve encountered some bumps these past few weeks, it’s absolutely alright. I’m still alive, right? A little broken, but that can’t stop me from making the most out of the last few days of the year. This is my year. I’m going to make it happy.

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