I am penniless. Or at least that will happen if I empty out my account. Because even if I get my money back, as my mother has kindly reminded, it’ll be gone as long as it’s in my wallet. I think that’s why I keep my money in the bank and not withdraw everything like most people do.
You know, I wish I could give everything that my parents ask for from me. But what about me? I can’t be the piggy bank that kept on giving. I can’t. No matter how hard I try to be a good daughter and just give them money when they need it, I can’t because my money doesn’t seem to last. I’ve been working for almost three years now and I have squat. I’ve saved nothing. Just enough for the occasional trip, just enough for my food, just enough for a pair of shoes every six months (or even an entire year), just enough until the the next payday.
And people wonder why I’m so terrified of turning twenty-five. Duuuude, I’m twenty-five, still living with my parents with no savings. Tell me that’s worth celebrating. Except for the part that I have my parents, I don’t know what to celebrate. That I am in a position by default because my previous position was an “error?” That I am like in high school and my salary is like my allowance? That I really have no choice but to keep giving everything I have because I owe my parents everything?
I am not very hard to please, which is why I seem happy even with all of this crap. Because I do find a way to be happy. It’s just that, I wish I didn’t have to try so hard to keep myself happy.
So should I give the last of my money to pay for yet another one of the many bills that need to be paid right now? Because it’s the “right” thing to do?