I never knew how much I needed this long weekend until I sank into the white hotel sheets on our first night. Felt a little bit like an adult slumber party, sharing a room with my two younger brothers. This after walking home from dinner of tempura, sushi, and our respective work woes. I still think of my siblings as children until we’re swapping stories and I am made painfully aware that we are no longer kids. And this is real life.

It was a last minute decision to book a hotel for the long weekend, partly decided because there was no water in the condo on Good Friday. There were no plans, just spending 5 days in a hotel room, and doing whatever we wanted. I took the chance to catch up with friends who stayed in the city for Holy Week. Felt good to reconnect and actually sit down and talk to people.

And what is Holy Week if not a time for a bit of introspection? The past couple of weeks have been quite the whirlwind that I haven’t had a moment to catch my breath. You know how you’re running on adrenaline and the moment you stop, everything just hits you? It feels a little like that. So it was good to talk to friends and get out of my head a bit.

***

I visited my best friend and her two boys after we checked in. We used to see each other just once or twice a year for some much needed bestie QT. It always feels like we pick up where we left off whenever we get together. I don’t even get to talk to her every day and yet we’re always attuned to each other’s lives somehow. I’m trying to be more intentional in keeping in touch with friends though. I’m at that age when I don’t really care who initiates the meetup, I just want to make sure you know that I’m here for you and that I want to be here for you. You know? Our lives could not be more different but I feel like she always knows what to tell me, and vice versa. I tried that Moon Phase trend on TikTok with our birthdays and surprise, surprise we were born on days with the exact same moon.

I also saw two of my college friends. It was great to sit down for two hours and unload all of the stories we’ve been keeping since the last time we saw each other. We’ve been trying to meet up all of the first quarter—plans to cowork, get our hair done together, eat fast food. But it was over coffee, self-ordered (but not after a few questions and failed attempts at tapping cards and laughing at the tita-ness of it all), that we finally got together and laughed and commiserated with each other. Some friendships you outgrow, some you grow into.

Later that afternoon, I saw a friend who once called me her pseudo twin and it stuck. The last time I saw her, I visited her at home, to give her my Christmas gift. This time, I gave her a medicinal bath bomb because she asked what it was when I posted a story of it when I was in Japan last Christmas. We sat at a cafe for three hours and she told me about how, at 39, she was only now realizing that it is indeed true that you don’t need to be friends with everyone. Something I had told her when we last met. Maybe I needed some reminding.

Then I saw two more friends and one adorable kid I’ve basically seen grow up on Instagram. It was fun to see him in the wild, flinging Play-Doh and basically emptying a tiny bottle of alcohol on us. Whenever we get together, I learn a little more about myself through their eyes. It’s not me being narcissistic, I swear. I just find it interesting how we see ourselves one way and there’s also this side of us that other people allow us a glimpse of. I only wish I do the same for them.

***

“But that’s the thing about grief, you can’t cry it away or eat it away or punch it away. It’s just… there, and you have to survive it. You have to endure it. You have to live with it, which is the hardest thing in the world.”

Tiny Beautiful THings

I had grand plans of finishing the last of the Before the Coffee Gets Cold trilogy (I still have about halfway to go) and making a dent in one of the series we’re supposed to be watching for work (I saw a grand total of 3 out of 53). But I spent most of the time in our hotel room, playing Animal Crossing and scrolling through my fyp. I did finish BEEF, which was funny, heartbreaking, and strange in a good kind of way. I didn’t realize Ali Wong was such a great actress! Also, can we talk about Steven Yeun singing “Drive” and then having that breakdown at the Korean evangelical church? And then finally, I came home to Succession ep 3 (!!!) and I am now 3 episodes into Tiny Beautiful Things and I don’t know whether or not I want to binge this or savor each episode a little longer. I never read any of the Dear Sugar letters before but not even ten minutes into the pilot, I feel like I was meant to watch this show. “But that’s the thing about grief, you can’t cry it away or eat it away or punch it away. It’s just… there, and you have to survive it. You have to endure it. You have to live with it, which is the hardest thing in the world.”

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