I can’t shake this heavy feeling I’ve had since yesterday. I’ve saged myself after a long time—my woowoo whatsits sitting and gathering dust for the good part of the last 2 years or so. I don’t know if this ritual will bring peace to me but I’m hoping that starting this thing back up again will.
The beginning of the year is a mix of emotions. Riding the high of the holiday season and coming off the adrenaline straight into remembering that my parents are no longer here. My father’s death anniversary was last January 9 and my mother’s just yesterday. Most days I hear their voice, I think it’s my brain trying to make their memory last much longer.
I guess restarting this space is also an attempt at memory keeping. I’m always forgetting and the older I get, the more I’m reminded that I don’t remember as well as before. Here are some favorites from January, which was both long and slow if that even were possible.
Reading
I set my GoodReads goal at 30 books this year. I only read 24 last year—cramming the last 2 ones in the last couple of weeks of December just to make my goal. I’m hoping to read at a leisurely pace and curb my endless TikTok scrolling till late. Of the 3 I finished this month, I think I enjoyed Good Material by Dolly Alderton the most. That’s not to say the other two weren’t any good—they were, in fact, great. It’s just that Alderton’s latest novel felt like a not-romcom romcom. It was love story, yes, but probably not the kind of HEA you’d expect. It reminded me of how at the end of any relationship, you tend to trace back your steps on when you started falling out of love and going as far back as when you first realized you were in love. And at the end of the day, I truly believe that whether you want to be in a relationship or not, you need to be okay with being alone.
Watching
As I do watch TV for work, I’m going to list down things I didn’t need to watch for my employment. I saw Anyone But You in the cinema and loved it! I had no expectations given the horrible marketing that was done for this film, lol. And maybe that’s why I had the best time. With Natasha Bedingfield playing in my ears as we walked out of the cinema, I’ve forgotten how fun romcoms are. It also made me excited for my Sydney trip this month. Also started watching Expats, which I saw on my feed from a couple of friends. It only has 3 episodes so far but I’m liking it. Nicole Kidman does frantic rich woman quite well doesn’t she? Ha.
Eating
I made a lot of things this month. Turned my fave banana cake recipe into muffins with a walnut crumble and they turned out great despite my batter being too wet (will lessen the liquid next time for a cakier texture). Made a ton, so I shared it with my teammates. We tried the new coffee shop Common Man Coffee Roasters near the office and picked up some beans! I liked the dark chocolate notes—one of the first things I look for in beans. The drinks in-store were expensive haha but I realize that all store-bought coffee is expensive when you can make coffee at home?
Doing
So I finally see the light at the end of the tunnel of the patchwork cardigan I started last March. It was inspired by Harry Styles’ JW Anderson cardigan and I had this delusion that I would finish it in time for his concert. 10 months later, I am now understanding the extent of my crochet skills. Happy to report that all I need to do is connect the squares for the sleeves, add the cuff ribbing, and connect the sleeves to the body. Hoping to finally wear it out this month!
Wearing
I really outdid myself checking out 2 pairs of shoes on the first 2 days of the month. No regrets. I’m in love with my new Everlane maryjanes (sooo comfy!) and my first Vejas in a lovely shade of blue. I partook of the holiday Ref sale and finally got my jeans and skirt in January, too. I had to get the skirt altered because I’m way too short for it. I love the unfinished hem and how it sits on my hip. Can’t wait to play around with styling it some more.
I’m out of practice but here’s hoping I’m able to document my days a little more regularly again in this tiny corner of the www. Also, I really do miss writing.
